metal gear solid 3: subrickstence
by Darkalbinoshadowsonic
Summary: what if richard and morty go back to metal gear solid 3 in the 60s to help snake kill the boss and save the world! find out in this epic adventure.
1. Chapter 1

-Naked snake was deep in the Siberian wildness. His mission was clear: destroy the Shagohod, find Sokolov, kill the boss. He was crawling through the bushes all sneak like like a black man who was about to sneak into a house and steal a TV. What naked snake didn't know is that there was something else in these jungles besides Russian bad guys and animals.

There was a bright green light in the jungle, it was like a radioactive light that would turn bruce banner into the hulk. An interdimensional portal opened and a tall drunk old guy in a scientist clothes walked out of it like a black man climbing oout of the window of the house he just burglarized. It was rick from rick and morty. His grandson and sexual partner morty was not far behind. Morty opened his gay teenager mouth and spoke in a voice that was like a vulture being circumsized by a rabi

. "hey rick where the heck are we?" morty asked in his stupid and fucking gay voice. "we're in Siberia morty" rick started talking, "this is the year 1969 and the boss has become evil and we're gonna help snake kill her and colonel volgin morty. You see morty colonel volgin steals the blueprints for the metal gear in the future and I don't like when stupid dumb normies steal from me so we're gonna shoot and kill him with a gun" rick said to morty who was watching with a shocked look like somebody who had just watched the movie human fly starring jeff Goldblum.

Morty began to talk to rick "jeez rick that's pretty hardcore" "who is naked snake rick?" morty asked to rick because he did not know who naked snake was cause he was not a smart person like rick who played metal gear solid 3 subsistence for the PS2. "he is the soldier who is gonna kill the boss and become the big boss and then be cloned and have 4 clones of him and were gonna help him kill the boss" rick educated his mentally retarded and gay grandson.

Rick and morty thhen walked for awhile until they found snake who was using binoculars to spy on evas ass because she had a nice ass like a supermodel who used her big boobs to get what she wanted. "hello snake I'm rick sanchez" said rick to snake (this was not solid snake though, it was naked snake) "whoa hey, how did you know my name!?" snake asked, he was startled by this old man and teenage boy in the jungle. "did major zero send you guys? You speak English and do not sound like a Russian" snake asked. "no we are from another dimension and we are gonna help you kill the boss and shagohod and colonel volgin" rick sanchez told snake.

"oh ok that is epic" said snake to rick "the boss and volgin do not know you are here in the jungle and on my side to kill them so we can use advanced stealth tactics and cqc to surprise them" snake said. Little did snake know that they were being watched from far away by a man who was spinning two revolvers like a record spins on a record player that is really old and wearing a red hat.

END OF CHAPTER 1.


	2. Chapter 2: duel with ocelot

Snake and rick and morty were walking In the jungle because snake had shown rick and morty how to do stealth and the basics of cqc which is short for close quarters combat but because that's too long to say they call it cqc because it's badass. Snake and rick and morty then walked to a canyon where they could not cross. "uh oh it looks like we cant cross because there's this giant canyon" said morty. "morty you stupid gay don't worry we can just use the portal gun and go across it with a portal because I am a genius" rick said.

Suddenly they were ambushed by Russian bad guys with machine guns and rick's portal gun was shot out of his hand! Then the same guy with the revolvers walked forward. "it's that guy from earlier that I fought who was really stupid and gay!" snake said to rick. "I've learned some new moves since last time snake. My name is ocelot, revolver ocelot!" said revolver ocelot. He then meowed which they all thought was weird because this was not normal human behavior. "all you guys stay out of this. Snake, I challenge you to a duel!" ocelot yelled at snake. "you are on" replied snake.

Snake then ducked behind a rock and the two started shooting at eachother. Then later on a shit ton of bees came out of nowhere and it was like a thunderstorm but made of bees. The bees started to sting the soldiers and stuff and revolver ocelot started spinning his guns and hitting bees with them. "I'll see you next time snake" said ocelot as he ran away like a coward. Snake didn't want to get stung by the bees so he fell down the canyon and rick and morty also did that.

End of chapter 2


	3. Chapter 3: stuck in the dark

Chapter 3

Snake was unconscious from the being knocked out he got from falling cause of all the bees attacking him and so were rick and morty. Snake woke up in the canyon and it was super dark and snake could not see in the dark because he was not a bat. "woah it's really dark in here" said snake. Snake woke rick and morty. "are you guys ok?" said snake to them, "yeah we are alright" said rick, however this was not entirely true because morty was having a mental breakdown cause he's gay and rick had no portal gun.

"we have no portal gun though so we cannot get out of here!" said rick. "maybe I can help" said somebody but they did not know who it was because they couldn't see the person talking. "who said that!" said snake. Suddenly a skeleton walked out of a cave and rays of sunlight from above reflected off his blue jacket. "hello I am sans and you are trapped here in undertale" he said to snake. "undertale?" he asked to sans from ungertale. "yes undertale. You see long ago there were humans and monsters but then humans made monsters live underground so monsters do not like humans but don't like them." Sans explained. "but you had better hope bad monsters like my brother papyrus and asgore don't get you!" he warned to them which were snake and rick and morty. "geez that sounds pretty scary" morty says. "shut your gay mouth morty!" they all said (snake and rick and sans) at once to morty because he was being gay.

So they walked through the land of undertale being careful not to run into any monsters. "uh oh look out it is papyrus! He will do anything to catch a human!" said sans. Snake and the others then hid in a bush and hid from papyrus. Sans approached papyrus and talked to him to distract him. "hey papyrus what is up?" said sans to papyrus., "you know what is up brother! I'm gonna catch a human and be famous!" sans said but little did he know that snake was sneaking up behind him and then slit his throat and killed him. "good he is dead, he was a gay brother anyways." Said sans. "now we gotta get out of undertale" said sans. They eventually met a guy who did not look like a monster. "who are you?" said snake to the man. "I am elon musk" said elon musk. "what are you doing down here?" snake said questioning him. "did the monsters get you?" morty asked to him. "no I was captured by volgin and Russians who forced me to make rockets for them to win the space race because it is the 60s and the space race is a thing that exists right now between Russia and nasa" elon explained. "I was testing a rocket that I had to make but I crashed down here and could not escape. You see I am a genius scientist who knows lots about making rockets and spaceships. We can use this rocket I am building to escape but I have no rocket fuel!" said elon. "I have some rocket fuel right here though" said rick as he pulled out some rocket fuel. "epic! Now we can get out of here and kill the boss!" said elongated musk. He pulled out some flamethrowers and gave one to each of them and they escaped in the rocket.


	4. Chapter 4: back in the jungle

The rocket flew up into the air like a teenagers bonner when he find's his friend's dad's playboys. "Wow we're really high up" said snake. "Yes and now we will need to jump out cause we gotta find grosnygrad and destroy the shagohod" elon told them. "What do you know about the shagohod?" Snake asked him. "Not a lot because sokolov made it and not me. I wanted to make the missing link between artillery and infantry because a nuclear tank is a dumb idea, now a nuclear tank with legs? That's fucking dope." Said elon. "Yeah it's a lot cooler than a regular tank with nukes, it's like a metal gear almost" said rick pretending to be nice but he secretly didnt like elon because elon was smart too and that made rick feel threatened because he was always the smartest person around. Elon gave them parashoots and they jumped from the plane and into the jungle but a helicopter saw them so snake gave sans a rocket launcher while they were falling and he shot it with an RPG and blew it up. "Nice shot" said snake to sans. They landed in the jungle and moved closer to the shagohod.


	5. Chapter 5: duality of hedgehog

Snake and rick and morty and sans and elon landed in the jungle after jumping out of the rocket which was used by them to escape. They were now in the jungle again and were going to go attack colonel volgins base and kill him and the boss and the shagohod. As they started to sneak through the forest a blue blur came out of nowhere. Snake readied his gun because this could be a potentially dangerous enemy that was bad and to kill them. "who are you?!" snake asked this mysterious blue creature. "I'm sonic, sonic the hedgehog!" the blue thingey replied. "I'm the fastest thing alive and I was just running around the earth because I'm just that epic (deal with it lol) and I saw your rocket crash and then the helicopter was blew up" he explained. "wow, you're really that fast?" asked snake. "you bet I am! Watch this!" sonic said before running away so fast and returning in a few seconds. Sonic was holding a taco because he had ran all the way to mexico because he's very fast like the car from speed racer. "I just ran to mexico and back, you can have this" said sonic handing snake the taco. "wow, you're pretty good. And thanks." Said snake taking the taco and biting into it. "mmmm, delicious" snake moaned as he tasted it. "all I have eaten since coming here is snakes, and I would definetly not order one of those at a restaurant." Snake told him. "what're you some kind of snake eater?" asked sonic. "I guess so" said snake. "since you are so fast it could be useful for sneaking missions and cqc at fast speeds. You see we are trying to save the world and you should join us" snake told to sonic. "saving the world? Wow count me in! that's badass!" sonic said, he didn't care if he sweared or not cause he was just that cool. "cool, this is rick and morty and sans and elon musk" snake introduced them to sonic.

The 6 of them trekked through the jungle to get closer to grosnygrad. Rick was still trying to repair his portal gun with little success. Right then a red and gold blurr came out of nowhere and hit sans, sending him flying and making him unconscious. It darted around some more until it stopped and revealed to be a hedgehog that looked like sonic only black and cooler. "I am shadow the hedgehog, I am one of the cobra unit, I was trained by the boss and am going to kill you!" he shouted. Shadow pulled out a gun and was about to shoot snake but then sonic used his quick speed to slam into shadow from behind as if it was a game of football and sonic and shadow were both football players who tackled eachother. "not so fast shadow!" said sonic like a hero. "you know him?" snake asked. "yes he is my evil faker who does evil things while faking to be me!" sonic yelled at them. "me the faker? The only fake is you!" shadow exclaimed as he punched sonic, sending him back. He pulled out a grenade and through it at the 5 heroes (not sans because he is unconscious). They all scattered before the grenade could hit and moved to cover. Sonic and shadow would run around and punch eachother at speeds too fast for everyone else to keep up with. Sometimes shadow would stop though to shoot one of his guns at them. As he did this snake began to sneak up on him and did a cqc grab, putting shadow into a chokehold. Sonic then started punching shadow from the front while snake held him and then snake threwed him onto the ground where elon musk light him up with a flamethrower which made shadow on fire. Shadow screamed In pain before rolling around until he eventually rolled off a cliff and died (or did he? dundundun).

"so much for the faker" said sonic. "yeah, great teamwork everyone." Said snake to elon and sonic but not morty because he was cowering behind rocks like a bitch while rick tries to fix the portal gun and sans is knocked out. They woke up sans and snake used the radio to talk to major zero. "major come in" snake said to the radio. "I hear you snake. You're going to need to go through the mountains to go to grosnygrad and stop the boss. Eva can help you get in go meet up with her." Said major zero. "ok" said snake. Then they all went to go see eva.


End file.
